Tonight you’re hearing something no “civilian” – our term for non-guides – has heard before. The back story is: in this line of work you don’t get together very often with your colleagues. It’s not as though there’s an office to which we all repair for 40 hours a week. So twice a year we (London Walks) hold a “guides’ party” – it’s a “team-building” affair, a chance for colleagues, who almost never see each other otherwise, to get together, swap stories, socialise, etc. etc. We break bread together, have a glass of wine or two, etc. And then, when the meal’s over, the entertainment starts. You have to remember that there are a lot of actors – singers, comedians, actors, etc. – who moonlight as London Walks guides. So there’s a lot of high-powered “performer talent” under that roof. And, inevitable, three or four of them will do “turns”. The star of the show is always Shaughan. Shaughan has a very special gift. He can write a captivating ditty in 15 minutes. So Shaughan will produce a different one for each guides’ party. They speak, tongue-in-cheek, amusingly, often ironically, to the life and times of a walking tour guide. They’re eagerly anticipated and much appreciated. Shaughan’s repertory has grown over the years. Some of them are so beloved by popular demand he has to repeat them at every party. This is one of those favourites. It’s almost become a London Walks anthem. It’s the merest bagatelle. But good fun. He of course massacres the American accent. Which is also part of the fun. And, I hope it goes without saying, part of the joy of it is we almost never have any customers like the fictitious lady from Brooklyn? he sends up in this little ditty.