London calling.
London Walks connecting.
This… is London.
This is London Walks.
Streets ahead.
Story time. History time.
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A very good afternoon to you, London Walkers. Wherever you are. It’s July 6th, 2025.
I don’t know what’s come over me. But this one’s going to be personal. Very personal.
My guess would be I’ve done getting on for 1500 of these London Calling podcasts and up until now not a one of them has been remotely personal. They’ve been about London. And guiding London. And my fellow guides. And just occasionally about this or that walker. And about history. Mostly London history. But nothing personal. Until today.
Well, I do know what’s come over me.
Mary and I found out a couple of weeks ago that we’re going to be first-time grandparents. Come December. Usual deal. We’ve been hoping that one of our sprogs would spring this on us. But it seemed like it was never going to happen. And we kept mum – we didn’t dare suggest to them, “don’t you think you should get on with it?” We figured dropping that heavy-handed hint would pretty much guarantee that they wouldn’t do it. If for no other reason than to spite us.
Anyway, so, yes, we kept schtum – didn’t say a word. And now it’s happened.
It’s our youngest. James. The breakdancer. Unforgivably, incorrigibly I’ve been writing to friends saying, “James is preggers, Mary and I are going to be grandparents.”
Now, a bit about the father-to-be. Yes, James is our youngest. And, yes, he’s the breakdancer. That’s a story in itself. Mary was a dancer. She hates that tense of the to be verb. The past tense. Was. She still is a dancer. Goes to professional classes three times a week. Can still do it all. And needless to say, she was desperate to have one of her offspring follow in her footsteps. Now everybody knows, the Gods punish us by granting our wishes. So Mary got a dancer all right. She just didn’t get what she thought she was going to get. James is a world-class – and I mean world-class – breakdancer. This kid can spin on his head 32 times without his hands touching the floor once.
He lives in Thailand. In Changmai. Because some of the best breakdancing in the world takes place in Southeast Asia. That’s because of their body types. I couldn’t do. Well, obviously I couldn’t do it because of my advanced age. I’m about to break into my 80th year. Yeah, yeah, I know. I look 90 but I’m only 79. Well, just about 79. So, yes, I couldn’t do it because of my advanced age. But I also couldn’t do it because of my physique. I’m ‘traditionally built’ as the neologism puts it. And breakdancing is so physically demanding that somebody with an American football player’s physique – that was my sport – couldn’t do it. Sumo wrestlers and some Pacific islanders apart, a lot of people in Southeast Asia are a bit smaller, a bit slighter. It’s a body type that’s more suited to flinging yourself around on the floor and doing one hand handstands and sliding across the floor on your head – and just your head, no training wheels, no hands on the floor – and then when you get to the other side of the floor, doing 32 no hands headspins.
So that’s where Son number two lives. And that’s what he does.
The coming grandchild – she’s a little girl – will grow up speaking English, Chinese and Thai. I’m dazed at that thought. And thrilled. Chinese because Judy’s grandparents emigrated from Taiwan to Thailand. At home they speak both Chinese and Thai. And English because of James of course. But also Judy. She’s Thai but she’s lived in Los Angeles and Australia. So her English is exceptionally good. But English, Chinese and Thai – how well equipped linguistically is that little 21st century lass going to be.
I immediately thought of my two language acquistion jokes. First one being, “a two-year-old can learn three languages simultaneously but he can’t tie his own shoes.”
And the second one being: “if you can speak three languages you’re trilingual; if you can speak two languages you’re bilingual; and if you only speak one language you’re either English or American.
And of course I’m monitoring the responses. Response No. 1: Mary wants to be there from the first second. Me, I’m casting my vote for waiting till the baby’s five weeks old or so and has chalked up her first smile. My experience is that’s when they own you, that’s when they take possession of you. My hunch about this is it’s a male-female difference. Grandma wants to be there from the first second. Grandpa wants to be there to be smiled at.
Three final points. First one I don’t understand at all. But it’s the case. It’s what’s going on. Namely, I have an overpowering urge to write to this little lass. Write to her now. She’s in the womb but I want to write to her. Go figure.
I’ve mentioned her to one or two of my walkers between stops. As we walked along. And I’ve loved what they’ve said back to me.
This morning in Hampstead I had three generations of a family. Walking along with the grandfather I got into a bit of a chat about these matters, and he said, beaming: “that’s the one question you never answer ‘no’ to: “Grandpa can I sit on your lap?”
And a week ago – same walk – Hampstead – lovely American lady – and, well, I told her, and she gave me a huge grin, said, “oh, congratulations.” And then she said, and I loved this, she said, “being a grandparent, it’s the best gig ever.”
C’est tout. Back to normal fare tomorrow. Not absolutely certain what it’ll be. But I’ve got a couple of good ideas. As London history days go, July 7th isn’t just a face in the crowd. It’s seen a lot of action. It’s got more than its share of battlefield colours, more than its share of streamers attached to its regimental flag.
You’ve been listening to This… is London, the London Walks podcast. Emanating from www.walks.com –
home of London Walks,
London’s signature walking tour company.
London’s local, time-honoured, fiercely independent, family-owned, just-the-right-size walking tour company.
And as long as we’re at it, London’s multi-award-winning walking tour company. Indeed, London’s only award-winning walking tour company.
And here’s the secret: London Walks is essentially run as a guides’ cooperative.
That’s the key to everything.
It’s the reason we’re able to attract and keep the best guides in London. You can get schlubbers to do this for £20 a walk. But you cannot get world-class guides – let alone accomplished professionals.
It’s not rocket science: you get what you pay for.
And just as surely, you also get what you don’t pay for.
Back in 1968 when we got started we quickly came to a fork in the road. We had to answer a searching question: Do we want to make the most money? Or do we want to be the best walking tour company in the world?
You want to make the most money you go the schlubbers route. You want to be the best walking tour company in the world you do whatever you have to do
to attract and keep the best guides in London –
you want them guiding for you, not for somebody else.
Bears repeating:
the way we’re structured – a guides’ cooperative –
is the key to the whole thing.
It’s the reason for all those awards, it’s the reason people who know go with London Walks, it’s the reason we’ve got a big following, a lively, loyal, discerning following – quality attracts quality.
It’s the reason we’re able – uniquely – to front our walks with accomplished, in many cases distinguished professionals:
By way of example, Stewart Purvis, the former Editor
(and subsequently CEO) of Independent Television News.
And Lisa Honan, who had a distinguished career as a diplomat (Lisa was the Governor of St Helena, the island where Napoleon breathed his last and, some say, had his penis amputated – Napoleon didn’t feel a thing – if thing’s the mot juste – he was dead.)
Stewart and Lisa – both of them CBEs – are just a couple of our headline acts.
Or take our Ripper Walk. It’s the creation of the world’s leading expert on Jack the Ripper, Donald Rumbelow, the author of the definitive book on the subject. Britain’s most distinguished crime historian, Donald is, in the words of The Jack the Ripper A to Z, “internationally recognised as the leading authority on Jack the Ripper.” Donald’s emeritus now but he’s still the guiding light on our Ripper Walk. He curates the walk. He trains up and mentors our Ripper Walk guides. Fields any and all questions they throw at him.
The London Walks Aristocracy of Talent – its All-Star Team of Guides – includes a former London Mayor. It includes the former Chief Music Critic for the Evening Standard. It includes the Chair of the Association of Professional Tour Guides. And the former chair of the Guild of Guides.
It includes barristers, doctors, geologists, museum curators, a former London Museum archaeologist, historians,
university professors (one of them a distinguished Cambridge University paleontologist); it includes a criminal defence lawyer, Royal Shakespeare Company and National Theatre actors, a bevy of MVPs, Oscar winners (people who’ve won the big one, the Guide of the Year Award)…
well, you get the idea.
As that travel writer famously put it, “if this were a golf tournament, every name on the Leader Board would be a London Walks guide.”
And as we put it: London Walks Guides make the new familiar
and the familiar new.
And on that agreeable note…
come then, let us go forward together on some great London Walks.
And that’s by way of saying, Good walking and Good Londoning one and all. See ya next time.