And so here we are, saying goodbye to 2024. Those two little words – goodbye – are a special send off. What you’re saying when you say “goodbye” is “God be with you.” I’ll quickly break that down for you; take you through it. The word “God” became “good.” And “bye”, well, inside it you can see the old word “ye”, which meant – which still means – “you.” And the first part of “bye” is “b”, which is just a shortened form of “be.”
So it’s a lovely thing, that phrase. Even when you shorten it right down to “by”, what you’re saying is “God be with you.”
So, yes, here we are, giving 2024 a send-off, bidding it fare well, and hoping that God will be with it as it goes on its way, wherever it’s going. It’s sort of “School’s Out” for 2024. It can chasing after 2023 now. And the rest of them.
Anyway, all of that is by way of tuning up. Getting up my nerve to say, “I’m SO glad didn’t work out.” Believe me, it’s eezy peezy mustering the nerve to say that. Fact of the matter, I’m pretty much on my knees every night thanking the Lord my life didn’t work out.
And what do I mean by that? Well, it’s what, 51 years I’ve been here now. Came over in ’73. Came from the Land of the Gathering Waters. Love saying that. Wisconsin is an Ojibway word. And that’s what it means: the land of the gathering waters. For that matter, a picturesque part of the Land of the Gathering Waters. The southwestern corner of Wisconsin. Known as the Driftless Hills. Anyway, you can take it as read, I so prefer saying “me? I’m from the land of the gathering waters.” It trips off the tongue a whole lot more pleasingly than “Cheesehead Land.”
Anyway, the game plan was to come over here for two years. Get the Ph.D. And head back ‘home’. Be a professor of English Literature at an American college or university.
But, as the saying goes, I fell amongst thieves. Or if you prefer, the best laid plans of mice and men…
In short, I knew after about six weeks that I wasn’t going ‘home.’ I was home. I fell in love with London. Knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’d found the place where I was meant to be. Found the place where I was going to spend the rest of my life. That realisation, that was a “and he lived happily ever afterward” moment. In short, I’d landed with my bum in the butter.
But what about the Ph.D.? What about the professorship? What about marking? And committee meetings? In Nowheresville, North America – nearest “city” Des Moines, Iowa (of Bill Bryson fame), just two hours away. Well, I’ll see your Des Moines, Iowa and raise you a Paris, which as it happens is just two hours away.
Anyway, I sorted out the career stuff, didn’t I? Got a part-time job as a London Walks guide. The world’s best teaching job: no marking, no committee meetings and the students are all interested.
Another way of putting this – this being how smitten I was in London – I clearly remember saying I’d rather wash dishes in a Chinese restaurant in Wardour Street than be the Chair of the English Department at Harvard. Not that there was any chance of either of those two outcomes coming out. But it summed up trenchantly, clearly, powerfully how I felt about London. About living here.
And lately it’s dawned on me that in a sense I’ve had an academic existence of sorts. I hope this doesn’t sound too toot your own horn, but I’ve sort of created my own university here. I think of London Walks as a university of sorts. And my 75 or 80 fellow London Walks guides as my fellow faculty members. The best kind of fellow faculty members. They haven’t wizened away spending their whole life in academia. They’ve done other things. Extraordinary things. In terms of what they know, what they’ve done, what they’ve achieved, where they’ve been they’d make the running against any higher education faculty on God’s green earth. Doctors, lawyers, archaeologists, museum curators, historians, actors, journalists, diplomats, musicians, painters, dancers, my former boss, Stewart Purvis – Stewart was the former Editor and subsequently the CEO of Independent Television News, the list just goes on and on. It’s an enormous privilege to be part of that group. To have them as my colleagues.
And Pop goes the weasel because all of the above was prefatory, it was a lead-in to my standing here and waving good bye to 2024, It was a good year. A good year despite the three days in an Egyptian hospital. For the record, they – the Egyptian nurses and doctors – were superb.
But no, narrowing in now, closing focus, I’m thinking about London Walks. I’ve been known to describe my colleagues as an extremely talented bunch of misfits. Round pegs in square holes. None of which is important. What’s important is that they’re so switched on, so full of vitality and fun and life and a towering, all-consuming interest in and passion for London. A malady that I also suffer from, along with an incurable case of bibliomania.
Anyway, over the 45 years I’ve been associated with London Walks it’s dawned on me that things go in spurts here. There are quiet years. Fallow years. And then there are years when the creativity bursts forth, carries all before it.
And 2024 was one of those years. There are well over 500 London Walks in the repertory. You’d think that would pretty well have done it. If you’ve got over 500 London Wallks there can’t be any more to be created.
But it ain’t so. This town is Cleopatra. Age cannot wither nor custom stale her infinite variety. Infinite being the mot juste. It’s like one of those chemical reactions, putting the two of them together. By the two of them I mean this town, London, and these guides.
Result, this past year has seen the most tremendous burst of creativity. I think it’s 27 new walks and all day outings that they’ve created. And it looks like it’s more tail winds and blue skies for the coming year. There’s already ten or so new walks that are being got up and will be rolled out in the next couple of months. But that’s looking ahead. This piece is a retrospective. I’m here to make it a matter of record what the 27 were. The 27 London Walks who came along in 2024.
So here you go, here’s the class of 2024.
Criminal Defence Lawyer Joanne’s VIP, Small Group, Lawyer-Guided Legal London (Inns of Court plus interior of the Royal Courts of Justice)
Distinguished former diplomat Lisa’s Empire in a Cup – the History of Tea
Emeritus London Museum Archaeologist Kevin’s London – 1066 and All That
Senior Partner City of London International Lawyer Ian Fagelson created Justice Miscarried – Let’s Deliver for the Postmasters (and donated his fee to that good cause)
UCL Medical School Professor Dr Ann’s Fabulous Fitzrovia & Its Medical Marvels
Superstar Guide Adam’s Rock ‘n’ Roll London Explorer Day – Barnes, Twickenham & Richmond and Day Tripper – A Full Day Beatles Tour of London and Musical Statues – What Does History Sound Like? and Rock ‘n’ Roll Camden
Barrister David G.’s Gamechangers! The People & Events that Changed Westminster – and the World
Time Out Editor Ronnie Haydon’s Gin Lane: William Hogarth & the Gin Craze
Four-time National Scrabble Champion Philip’s The Siege of Sidney Street 1911 – Immigration & Anarchy in the East End
Espionage expert and author Dan Parry’s Spies & Special Forces
In February 2024, Dan Parry launched his new Spies and Special Forces walk which quickly became a big hit. So far, it’s received at least three glowing reviews on every outing. Following up on his popular Spymasters tour in St James’s (focusing on the era around WWII), Dan’s new walk looks at skulduggery and derring-do in Knightsbridge. From the MI6 spy school involved in a harrowing story of betrayal, to dead letter boxes used by the KGB, via the SAS assault on the Iranian Embassy, this walk looks at real-life James Bonds acting on guts, daring, and a wild stab in the dark. Like Spymasters, Dan’s Special Forces tour has a tendency to sell out, so early booking is advised. Enjoy a hair-raising stroll through quiet corners of Knightsbridge. Just make sure you know who’s behind you.
Historian and author Catherine’s Live Reporting – On the Scene at the Great Fire of London
Art historians Sue’s and Molly’s Wallace Collection Tour
Trail blazing, tri-lingual historian Ulrike’s Women of the Abyss – the Victims of Jack the Ripper
Canal Expert (and Canal Guides Maestro) Roger’s River Wandle & the Wandsworth Canal
Crème de la crème professional guides (winners of the big one, the Guide of the Year award) Karen’s and Fiona’s and Simon’s and Marc’s Friday Lates (National Portrait Gallery – VIP, Small Group Guaranteed and British Museum – VIP, Small Group Guaranteed)
The Seigneur of this favoured realm David’s All Day Virginia Woolf in Kensington and Bloomsbury Tour
Social entrepreneur and linguist (three languages) Joanna’s Censored & Forbidden
Consummate Londoner Charlie’s Bloomsbury’s Brilliant Women
“the best tour guide you could want” Sam’s Decoding London – Secret Stories & Symbols
She – Alison – the Princess of London Walks is back. Back with all her lavishness, her prodigious prodigality. Back with Bankside, Brothels & the Bard. And she’s resurrected – and renewed – Charming Chiswick, Eccentric London and Unexpected London.
London & the Nutcracker – the Ballet that Changed Christmas – intriguing in its own right but it’s a cup overfloweth number because into the bargain you can ask Margarita about the Russian Christmas.
